Learning to Share – Supporting Children´s Sharing Skills

Learning to Share – Supporting Children's Sharing Skills

Sharing is a critical skill in children's social, emotional, and cognitive development. At its simplest, sharing means a child allows someone else to use a toy, space, experience, or emotion. However, sharing is not limited to objects; it also includes taking turns in play, expressing emotions, and showing sensitivity to others' needs. For young children, sharing is not an instinctive process—it is learned over time through observation, experience, and adult guidance.

Sharing helps children develop empathy. When a child shares a toy with a friend, they begin to understand that their friend also needs the toy. This awareness helps them recognize others' emotions and respond to their needs. Children who develop empathy are more successful in social environments, form stronger friendships, and build healthier communication skills.

Sharing not only improves social relationships but also enhances problem-solving and flexibility skills. When children share a toy or a resource, they learn to create different solutions. For example, if there is a disagreement over a toy, they may take turns playing, create a game together, or find an alternative activity. These experiences teach children how to express their needs, consider different perspectives, and find common solutions.

Additionally, sharing helps children learn to accept situations that do not always go their way, promoting adaptability. They experience that they cannot always be first or have things exactly as they want. This understanding helps them adjust to changing conditions, be open to different perspectives, and learn how to interact within a group.

Sharing also strengthens children's ability to form bonds. Children who understand sharing can communicate more easily with their peers and take an active role in play settings. Learning to come together for a shared purpose helps children develop teamwork skills and adapt more easily to social situations as they grow. Strong social bonds provide a sense of security and increase children's self-confidence.

Moreover, sharing contributes to children's independence. Children who share are less likely to become overly attached to their belongings and are more open to exploring the world through interaction with others. Sharing fosters a sense of belonging and teaches children how to navigate within a community, supporting their problem-solving and cooperation skills.

Collaboration is another skill developed through sharing. Taking turns in a game, completing a project together, or working toward a common goal are all fundamental aspects of sharing. Cooperation teaches children how to function both as individuals and within a group. Children who experience sharing learn to understand different viewpoints, make joint decisions, and develop mutual respect. As they grow, cooperative children become more successful in teamwork and maintain positive social relationships.

Sharing also helps children recognize their own boundaries and respect those of others. When they share a toy or take turns, they learn that not everything is under their control. This process teaches patience, self-regulation, and the ability to delay gratification. For example, taking turns with a toy encourages a child to consider their friend's feelings and practice waiting. These experiences lay the foundation for essential life skills such as self-control, emotional regulation, and patience.

These skills contribute to children's ability to adapt in school and social settings, helping them become more well-adjusted individuals. Children who learn to share develop a balance between "me" and "others," respect others' rights, and integrate more comfortably into social environments.

When and How Does Sharing Develop?

Ages 1-2: At this stage, children are egocentric and may strongly attach to their belongings, resisting sharing. Rather than expecting them to share, it is important to create a secure environment that encourages sharing.

Ages 2-3: Children begin to understand the concept of sharing but may still struggle with it. They might attempt brief sharing moments. Patience and encouragement are key.

Ages 3-4: Empathy starts to develop. Children begin to understand others' emotions and recognize that sharing can make others happy. Games involving taking turns can be effective at this stage.

Ages 5-6: Children become more involved in social play and better understand the importance of sharing. They demonstrate sharing behavior more frequently in group activities.

Factors Influencing Sharing

-Parental Attitudes: Parents who encourage sharing help their children develop this skill.

-Sibling and Peer Relationships: Children with siblings or peers have more opportunities to practice sharing.

-Emotional Development:Children with strong empathy and self-regulation skills are more inclined to share.

How Can Parents Support Sharing?

Parents should help children distinguish between personal items and shared items. If a child does not want to share certain belongings, respecting this choice can help them feel secure while still fostering social sharing skills. Additionally, toys that a child does not want to share should not be brought to social settings like school. Instead, bringing toys meant for shared play is more appropriate.

Strategies to Support Sharing Skills

1. Be a Role Model: Children learn best by observing. Demonstrate sharing in your daily life.

2. Play Turn-Taking Games: Games that encourage waiting and taking turns help develop social skills.

3. Offer Choices: Allow children to choose which toys they want to share.

4. Provide Positive Feedback: Praise and reinforce sharing behavior immediately.

5. Use Books and Stories: Read stories that emphasize the importance of sharing.

6. Acknowledge Their Feelings: If a child resists sharing, understand their feelings and validate their emotions.

7. Organize Group Activities: Plan activities where children can practice sharing with peers.

8. Be Patient: Learning to share takes time. Support the child with small steps without forcing them.

Challenges in Learning to Share

1. Sense of Ownership: Children may become attached to certain toys and resist sharing.

2. Sibling Rivalry: Sharing between siblings can sometimes lead to conflicts.

3. Sharing in Group Settings: Some children struggle with sharing in large groups.

Why Do Children Resist Sharing?

-Egocentrism: Young children focus on their own needs and may struggle to consider others.

-Attachment to Objects: They may be unwilling to share toys they strongly prefer.

-Difficulty Regulating Emotions: Emotional struggles can make sharing challenging.

-Sense of Competition: Rivalry with siblings or peers may create resistance to sharing.

How to Respond When a Child Refuses to Share

When children don't want to share, it is essential for parents to be patient and understanding. Sometimes, children may refuse to share, start crying, or try to take each other's belongings. In such situations, it is important to acknowledge their feelings and guide them appropriately. Approach the child who doesn’t want to share with empathy while also setting clear boundaries. For example, saying, "This toy is your special toy, but you can share the toys that we can play with together," helps the child feel understood and gradually become more open to sharing.

Stay Calm: Do not overreact when a child refuses to share.

Show Empathy: Use phrases like, "I see that you love this toy, but your friend wants to play too."

Offer Alternatives: Provide options that make sharing easier, such as taking turns.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise the child when they make efforts to share.

Book Recommendations

-Çok Bencilsin – How Selfish (Clare Helen Welsh)

-Paylaşmayı Öğreniyorum – Duygularım Davranışlarım – Little Fox Learns to Share – My Feelings, My Behaviors (Jedda Robaard)

-Bir Kabuğu Paylaşmak – Sharing a Shell (Julia Donaldson)

-Paylaşmak İstemeyen Ayı – The Bear Who Would Not Share (Oakley Graham)

Movie Recommendations

Llama Llama

Llama Llama Red Pajama - Time to Share

Season 1, Episode 4

4+ age

Revolving around the story of Mama Llama, a single mother, and her son, Llama Llama, while featuring many different characters, Llama Llama delivers strong messages on kindness, empathy, generosity, the importance of family and friendship, and respect for differences.

In the second story of this episode, the theme of sharing takes center stage. Llama Llama goes on a playdate with Nelly Gnu. Everything is going well until they run into a problem with sharing.

Puffin Rock

Mossy Goes Solo

Season 1, Episode 37

3+ age

Puffin Rock focuses on the explorations and adventures of Oona, a puffin, and her younger brother Baba. The show teaches children beautiful values such as respect for differences and the importance of family and friends, making it a sweet, heartwarming cartoon.

In this episode, Mossy, a shrew, becomes tired of sharing her food and bed with other shrews and decides to live alone. Although Oona and Baba help her set up her new home, Mossy soon can't bear the loneliness and reunites with the shrew gang.

Go! Go! Cory Carson

Cory’s New Bedroom

Season 2, Episode 5

4+ age

Cory Carson is a curious and energetic toy car. Living with his family, Cory shares a room with his little sister issy, but he's very annoyed by her constant visits at night. Wanting a room of his own, Cory gets his wish. However, by the end of the day, he realizes something important is missing in his room: his adorable sister issy!

True and the Rainbow Kingdom

Scratch and Share

Season 3, Episode 10

4+ age

True is a Netflix original animated series known for its problem-solving stories and positive messages. In this episode, the Bigfeet are unable to share the Great Scratching Stick of the Endless Forest. True and her best friend Bartleby resolve the conflict between the Bigfeet. The episode, enriched with the fun song "Sharing is Caring," highlights the beauty of sharing.

Game Suggestions

Sharing Reminders Age Group: 1.5-4 years

When a group of children comes together, you can remind them with phrases like, "Sharing is wonderful!" The child who decides to share first can receive a star or a small reward as positive reinforcement. This game encourages children to share.

Handprint Art Age Group: 2-5 years

Start creating a large painting together on a big piece of paper. Children take turns painting their hands and leaving their handprints. This helps them learn about sharing and contributing to each other’s work. The game strengthens their sharing and cooperation skills.

Storytime Sharing Age Group: 1.5-4 years

Choose a book and ask the children to take turns turning the pages. This encourages them to enjoy storytelling together while developing their sharing skills.

Turn-Taking Coloring Age Group: 2-5 years

Draw a large picture on a sheet of paper and ask the children to take turns or share while coloring it. Each child can choose their colors and apply them in turns.